Thursday, April 30, 2009

New Experiences

Therapist has been working on helping to orient a part to the present who we've learned over the past several months has very little knowledge of the world outside of the actual abuse we suffered. Recently it came to light that this part had never been outside. So, today therapist and this part took a walk outside in a neighborhood near her office.

I'm pleasantly surprised to report that overall, it was a good experience. She seemed to have the worst time in the hallway and lobby in therapist's office leading to the outdoors than she actually did outside. It was the craziest experience!!!! Everything was new to her. The smell of the outdoor air, flowers, the feel of a light rain on her skin. Lots of motion scared her, so they had to stay away from streets with many cars and people other than therapist really scared her. She questioned everyone's motives whether they were looking her way or not. She didn't run though. She didn't freak out. She didn't cry. She was just incredibly skiddish. When they got on the roads where there were no people or moving cars, I think she actually even enjoyed herself a bit. I didn't even know that was possible.

Therapist brought me back out when they got back to the office so we could wrap things up, and I could drive us home. I found a little bit of the skiddishness was left behind as I exited therapist's office. I was really jumpy in the parking lot, and even felt cautious when the guy at the drive through window asked for my order and gave me my food. Feeling safe again now that we're home. Hoping it will wear off by the morning. I'm only used to feeling that skiddish for a few hours right after I get out of inpatient treatment that I've been in for a month or longer.


  1. Dear one, sounds like a positive session for you all. Glad some progress was made and that you felt a bit comfortable. Thank you for sharing!

  2. Wow, that sounds totally amazing (if a little disconcerting). So pleased that that part was able to experience something new in a safe way. :)