They throw a part they've been protecting for years and vowed they'd die before letting you meet is "thrown under the bus" as a means to distract Therapist.
This was last Thursday's session. Therapist has been talking with parts trying to continue work that was started over a year ago and then put on hold for several months due to me not living locally. The resistance to her speaking with certain parts and gaining certain information is so strong that on Thursday, Therapist ended up having the opportunity to meet the CORE.... 8 year old us who has been protected from any knowledge of the abuse and goes by the body's given name. Up to Thursday there had been multiple parts who had stated their life's work was to keep the core safe and allow no one to interact with her. In previous therapy sessions, agreements had been made between Therapist and these parts that she could pursue certain avenues of therapy and interactions with parts as long as she left the Core alone.
What information is so crucial to keep hidden, that parts inside would decide it was better to throw the Core out forward to interact with Therapist and distract her than to continue to keep the Core safe and hidden? They're not stupid though because it totally worked. Therapist was awed about getting to meet the Core and spent the rest of the session talking with her. It wasn't a waste of a session. I think therapist got some good info and gained new insight. However, it was still sucessful in distracting therapist from her main goal of trying to get to the root of the lies our abuser placed in us in order to cause a huge, positive system shift.
Currently I feel like my body has been hijacked, and I don't know if I'm coming or going half the time. We're still safe and functioning appropriately in our external life, but, good grief, I feel like a walking circus right now. I'm wondering how big the internal stunts are going to get before the finale of this showdown.
Has anyone invented a "time-out" button yet?
Showing posts with label truth. Show all posts
Showing posts with label truth. Show all posts
Sunday, October 6, 2013
Sunday, March 6, 2011
Satan's Tactics
Last night I had a horrible dream. I've always been a vivid dreamer. My dreams are usually so intricate and detailed, that I am unable to tell that I am dreaming until after I wake up. Many times it takes me awhile after I wake up to fully realize that what just happened was in a dream and not my reality. This morning was one of those mornings. I woke up shaking. I could tell I'd been crying a lot, and for a good 5 minutes, I was convinced my dream was real. Only when I was able to truly realize where I was and what was going on around me did I begin to realize it was a dream and be able to calm down.
Last night I dreamt that my husband was home. He'd been home from deployment for a bit and was daily walking through my current therapy struggles with me. Long story short, in my dream he told me that he'd had enough... that my crazy and my issues were too much for him... he was done.. it was over between us... and there was nothing I can do change his mind. I was heartbroken. The man who has done more to understand than any other man in my life; The man who promised me forever; The man who I adored was walking out. In my dream I was thinking if he wouldn't stay, no one ever will.
Praise God this was only a dream!!! Even though it was a dream, I found myself having a hard time shaking the feelings this morning. I wanted nothing more to call hubby and have him put my mind and heart at ease. Unfortunately, I couldn't do that since he is deployed. Fortunately, I serve a God who is always available. As I turned to God to relieve my pain and fears from this dream, I got hit with a couple of realities:
1. I didn't reach for God first to calm my fears. I was looking for human comfort first. Now, I believe human comfort is good and very much needed. However, I've been learning over the past several years that human comfort doesn't compare to the peace and contentment that God can provide. I'm not beating myself up over this, but it was a good reality check and a good opportunity to refocus my mind on God first and on my family and friends second.
2. Satan uses anything he can to undermine anything positive and healthy in our lives. When I think back over my life, dreams/nightmares are a way that satan has always reached me and tormented me. It's pretty creative and sneaky to attack me in my sleep.. to plant doubts, fears, and horrors in my mind while I sleep. These type of attacks are so much harder to recognize and combat than the obvious and blatant ones. I have no doubt that satan knows this and uses it to his advantage.
These two realities, while not fun, really helped me to regain focus this morning, reality test the dream and put satan back in his place. I ended up having a pretty decent day today. In the past, I would have stayed debilitated internally by a dream like this, but today we let it go and trusted God that he was watching over us, our husband, and the truth.
I count this as a victory, but I wish sometimes there weren't so many battles to fight. The only promise any of us have been given though is that God will see us through all of them and He has won them all. Praise Him for that!
Last night I dreamt that my husband was home. He'd been home from deployment for a bit and was daily walking through my current therapy struggles with me. Long story short, in my dream he told me that he'd had enough... that my crazy and my issues were too much for him... he was done.. it was over between us... and there was nothing I can do change his mind. I was heartbroken. The man who has done more to understand than any other man in my life; The man who promised me forever; The man who I adored was walking out. In my dream I was thinking if he wouldn't stay, no one ever will.
Praise God this was only a dream!!! Even though it was a dream, I found myself having a hard time shaking the feelings this morning. I wanted nothing more to call hubby and have him put my mind and heart at ease. Unfortunately, I couldn't do that since he is deployed. Fortunately, I serve a God who is always available. As I turned to God to relieve my pain and fears from this dream, I got hit with a couple of realities:
1. I didn't reach for God first to calm my fears. I was looking for human comfort first. Now, I believe human comfort is good and very much needed. However, I've been learning over the past several years that human comfort doesn't compare to the peace and contentment that God can provide. I'm not beating myself up over this, but it was a good reality check and a good opportunity to refocus my mind on God first and on my family and friends second.
2. Satan uses anything he can to undermine anything positive and healthy in our lives. When I think back over my life, dreams/nightmares are a way that satan has always reached me and tormented me. It's pretty creative and sneaky to attack me in my sleep.. to plant doubts, fears, and horrors in my mind while I sleep. These type of attacks are so much harder to recognize and combat than the obvious and blatant ones. I have no doubt that satan knows this and uses it to his advantage.
These two realities, while not fun, really helped me to regain focus this morning, reality test the dream and put satan back in his place. I ended up having a pretty decent day today. In the past, I would have stayed debilitated internally by a dream like this, but today we let it go and trusted God that he was watching over us, our husband, and the truth.
I count this as a victory, but I wish sometimes there weren't so many battles to fight. The only promise any of us have been given though is that God will see us through all of them and He has won them all. Praise Him for that!
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Husband wrote me back!
Well, I guess I spoke a day too soon. Hubby responded today to the e-mail I sent him about my current internal and therapeutic situation. His e-mail was so sweet. I will never understand why this man sees me the way he does, but I am incredibly grateful. This e-mail made all of today a lot more bearable. I copied and pasted it below b/c it's too good the way it is to try and paraphrase it.
Hey,
Like I mentioned briefly the other day I am very greatful for
letting me know what you are going through and what you are having to
work through. I might not understand it all the time, mostly because I
have a hard time relating to what you have had to and currently still
have to overcome and work through. Regardless, you are one of the
strongest gals I know and have been since we met :). More and more,
with everything we do and more I get to really know you God has shown
me just how luckly I am to have you in my life. So let me know how
can be supportive and praying for you as you have been.
Xo, Love You -
Husband
Now I just have to figure out how he can be supportive and how I want him specifically praying. ;) One step at a time though, right? And this step - me sharing specifics and him responding in love and confidence - just squished a bit of the lie that those who truly know me will come to hate me and be disgusted by me. Yay for huge, small victories!!!!!
Hey,
Like I mentioned briefly the other day I am very greatful for
letting me know what you are going through and what you are having to
work through. I might not understand it all the time, mostly because I
have a hard time relating to what you have had to and currently still
have to overcome and work through. Regardless, you are one of the
strongest gals I know and have been since we met :). More and more,
with everything we do and more I get to really know you God has shown
me just how luckly I am to have you in my life. So let me know how
can be supportive and praying for you as you have been.
Xo, Love You -
Husband
Now I just have to figure out how he can be supportive and how I want him specifically praying. ;) One step at a time though, right? And this step - me sharing specifics and him responding in love and confidence - just squished a bit of the lie that those who truly know me will come to hate me and be disgusted by me. Yay for huge, small victories!!!!!
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
This is Who I Am
My last several posts have dealt with 8 lies that many trauma survivors believe as a result of satan's lies. And while I took time in each of those to refute those lies, I thought it might be good to wrap up this little segment putting all of the truths together.
THIS IS WHO I AM
Regarded
I am a friend of the Almighty God of heave and earth. (John 15:15)
Jesus is not ashamed to call me his sister/brother. (Hebrews 2:11)
I am chosen by God, holy and without fault in His eyes. (Ephesians 1:4)
I am an heir to the riches of the Creator of the universe. (Galatians 4:7)
Important
I have been rightly called a child of God. (John 1:12)
God has made me His salt and light in the world. (Matthew 5:13-14)
I am an eternal being and will never perish. (John 3:16)
Forgiven
I am no longer condemned. (Romans 8:1)
I have been justified before the righteous Judge. (Romans 5:1)
I am at peace with God. (Romans 5:1)
God no longer remembers my sins. (Hebrews 10:17)
Valued
God loves me with an everlasting love. (Jeremiah 31:3)
I am God's temple, bought at a great price. (1 Corinthians 6:19-20)
God knows, chose, called, justified, and glorified me. (Romans 8:29-30)
Accepted
I am accepted in Christ. (Ephesians 1:6)
I am a chosen, costly, living stone in God's building. (1 Peter 2:4-5)
I have bold, unrestricted access to God's throne of grace. (Hebrews 4:16)
Powerful
God has given me the spirit of power, love and a sound mind. (2 Timothy 1:7)
God's Spirit in me is greater than any unholy spirits in the world. (1 John 4:4)
I am born of God and believe in Jesus - I'm a world-overcomer. (1 John 5:4-5)
Lovable
I am loved by God and nothing will keep us apart. (Romans 8:38-39)
I am loved supremely - enough for God to die for me. (John 15:13)
I am loved unconditionally, even when I sin. (Romans 5:8)
Connected
I am intimately attached to Christ and bearing fruit. (John 15:5)
I am a member of God's eternal family. (Galatians 3:26)
Christ is as close to me as my heart and lungs. (Galatians 2:20)
I am part of Christ's body with millions of brothers & sisters. (1 Corinthians 12:27)
I am an eternal member of God's Kingdom and household. (Ephesians 2:19)
THIS IS WHO I AM
Regarded
I am a friend of the Almighty God of heave and earth. (John 15:15)
Jesus is not ashamed to call me his sister/brother. (Hebrews 2:11)
I am chosen by God, holy and without fault in His eyes. (Ephesians 1:4)
I am an heir to the riches of the Creator of the universe. (Galatians 4:7)
Important
I have been rightly called a child of God. (John 1:12)
God has made me His salt and light in the world. (Matthew 5:13-14)
I am an eternal being and will never perish. (John 3:16)
Forgiven
I am no longer condemned. (Romans 8:1)
I have been justified before the righteous Judge. (Romans 5:1)
I am at peace with God. (Romans 5:1)
God no longer remembers my sins. (Hebrews 10:17)
Valued
God loves me with an everlasting love. (Jeremiah 31:3)
I am God's temple, bought at a great price. (1 Corinthians 6:19-20)
God knows, chose, called, justified, and glorified me. (Romans 8:29-30)
Accepted
I am accepted in Christ. (Ephesians 1:6)
I am a chosen, costly, living stone in God's building. (1 Peter 2:4-5)
I have bold, unrestricted access to God's throne of grace. (Hebrews 4:16)
Powerful
God has given me the spirit of power, love and a sound mind. (2 Timothy 1:7)
God's Spirit in me is greater than any unholy spirits in the world. (1 John 4:4)
I am born of God and believe in Jesus - I'm a world-overcomer. (1 John 5:4-5)
Lovable
I am loved by God and nothing will keep us apart. (Romans 8:38-39)
I am loved supremely - enough for God to die for me. (John 15:13)
I am loved unconditionally, even when I sin. (Romans 5:8)
Connected
I am intimately attached to Christ and bearing fruit. (John 15:5)
I am a member of God's eternal family. (Galatians 3:26)
Christ is as close to me as my heart and lungs. (Galatians 2:20)
I am part of Christ's body with millions of brothers & sisters. (1 Corinthians 12:27)
I am an eternal member of God's Kingdom and household. (Ephesians 2:19)
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Lie # 8 - Separated
Lies of the enemy:
1. You are alone and you should stay that way.
2. No one wants you around.
3. You shouldn't be such a bother to other people.
4. People wish you weren't here.
5. You should go someplace else.
Your true identity: CONNECTED
And you are connected in two realms...
CONNECTED TO GOD:
John 15:5 - I am the vine, you are the branches; he who abides in Me and I in him, he bears much fruit, for apart from Me you can do nothing.
Jesus' picture of our connectedness to him views us as branches fed by him and fused together with him. His connectedness to us is what allows us to show others him and be the people we want to be.
Galatians 3:26 - For you are all children of God through faith in Christ Jesus.
Assuming you had a healthy relationship with your parents or you are now a parent of your own, you understand the connection between a child and his/her parents. If you are a parent, you understand the unconditional love that you feel for your child and a connection to that child that cannot be explained. As children of God, he feels that same connectedness to us that never changes on his end and he is always longing for that connectedness with us.
Galatians 2:20 - I have been crucified with Christ, and it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me.
I don't know a way to be more connected to Christ than to have him living in you.
CONNECTED TO THE BODY OF CHRIST - OTHER CHRISTIANS:
1 Corinthians 12:27 - All of you together are Christ's body, and each of you is a part of it.
If you read this chapter more fully, it goes on to talk about how we are not all the same part of Christ's body b/c we all have different talents and gifts. However, a body only functions well when all members are present and connected. It works the same with a body of Christians. Your brothers and sisters in Christ can provide encouragement and help to you and also give you an opportunity to return the favor.. to challenge and encourage one another. If you're not in a place where you can have a congregational church family, keep in mind that all Christians are your brothers and sisters and you can reach out via phone, e-mail, Skype, etc. In my own opinion, this connectedness is only second to that of your connection with Christ. Who better to support your and spur you along than others who are striving for the same connectedness with Christ?
Ephesians 2:19 - You are no longer foreigners and aliens, but fellow citizens with God's people and members of God's household.
God has made us citizens in his eternal world and called us members of his household. What greater connectedness could we ask for?
You are NOT alone or disconnected. Through Christ you are more connected than you can ever imagine!
1. You are alone and you should stay that way.
2. No one wants you around.
3. You shouldn't be such a bother to other people.
4. People wish you weren't here.
5. You should go someplace else.
Your true identity: CONNECTED
And you are connected in two realms...
CONNECTED TO GOD:
John 15:5 - I am the vine, you are the branches; he who abides in Me and I in him, he bears much fruit, for apart from Me you can do nothing.
Jesus' picture of our connectedness to him views us as branches fed by him and fused together with him. His connectedness to us is what allows us to show others him and be the people we want to be.
Galatians 3:26 - For you are all children of God through faith in Christ Jesus.
Assuming you had a healthy relationship with your parents or you are now a parent of your own, you understand the connection between a child and his/her parents. If you are a parent, you understand the unconditional love that you feel for your child and a connection to that child that cannot be explained. As children of God, he feels that same connectedness to us that never changes on his end and he is always longing for that connectedness with us.
Galatians 2:20 - I have been crucified with Christ, and it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me.
I don't know a way to be more connected to Christ than to have him living in you.
CONNECTED TO THE BODY OF CHRIST - OTHER CHRISTIANS:
1 Corinthians 12:27 - All of you together are Christ's body, and each of you is a part of it.
If you read this chapter more fully, it goes on to talk about how we are not all the same part of Christ's body b/c we all have different talents and gifts. However, a body only functions well when all members are present and connected. It works the same with a body of Christians. Your brothers and sisters in Christ can provide encouragement and help to you and also give you an opportunity to return the favor.. to challenge and encourage one another. If you're not in a place where you can have a congregational church family, keep in mind that all Christians are your brothers and sisters and you can reach out via phone, e-mail, Skype, etc. In my own opinion, this connectedness is only second to that of your connection with Christ. Who better to support your and spur you along than others who are striving for the same connectedness with Christ?
Ephesians 2:19 - You are no longer foreigners and aliens, but fellow citizens with God's people and members of God's household.
God has made us citizens in his eternal world and called us members of his household. What greater connectedness could we ask for?
You are NOT alone or disconnected. Through Christ you are more connected than you can ever imagine!
Monday, July 26, 2010
Lie # 7 - Unlovable
Lies of the enemy:
1. Who would ever love you?
2. You're so ugly and boring.
3. You are beyond being loved, by God, by your family, or by anyone.
4. You really have no redeeming qualities.
5. If people knew the real you, they'd hate you.
This lie is something I struggled with even after husband proposed to me. I've always had such a fear that if anyone got to know the "real me", there is no way they could love me. I questioned him all the time to make sure he didn't feel I was somehow "tricking" him into marry me. I've felt this way with most relationships in my life. I think it's why I work overtime to be "likable" to everyone. Time and time again husband, therapist, and a few friends have proven to me that they still love me even in my most 'unlovable' moments.
If humans are capable of such unconditional love, how much more does our heavenly Father love us no matter what???
Your true identity: LOVABLE
Romans 8:38,39 - For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, will be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
These two verses list 10 things that CANNOT separate us from the love God has for us. Reading over this list it reminds me of the no loop holes safety contracts I used to have to make when I was greatly struggling with self-injury. Except in this case, it's a no loop holes God loves us unconditionally and forever.
John 15:13 - Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends.
Romans 5:8 - But God shows His great love for us in this way: Christ died for us while we were still sinners.
There are a few people on this planet that I love deeply enough I would gladly lay down my life for them and a few others that I would lay my life down for (maybe just not as gladly ;) ). I honestly don't know that I would lay my life down for a stranger, someone who treated me horribly, or someone who wasn't even born yet. But this is exactly what Jesus did. He loved each of us so much, he chose to die for our sins despite us not existing yet, despite the sins we as humans will naturally commit, and whether or not we choose to accept him. He loves us so much that he died for us whether we choose to love him back or not.
Zephaniah 3:17 - For the Lord your God has arrived to live among you. He is a mighty Savior. He will give you victory. He will rejoice over you with great gladness; He will love you and not accuse you. Is that a joyous choir I hear? No, it is the Lord Himself exulting over you in happy song.
Again, numerous things in this verse that the Lord does out of love for us: live among us, give us victory, rejoice over us, love us, not accuse us, exult over us.
I know I will never fully grasp it, but understanding God's unconditional love and how great it is, gives me the warm feeling inside that sometimes I try so hard to get from other people. I think letting God's love fill me more will feel a need I look for in others in ways that others could never provide.
This is not to say the love of others is not incredibly important and vital to happy living, but God's love is unfailing. Even the person on this planet who loves you the most will fail you from time to time. Seeking a higher love to be my main love, helps me to keep this world into perspective and pay attention to what really matters.
bottom line: YOU ARE LOVED UNCONDITIONALLY AS YOU ARE FOREVER!!!!
1. Who would ever love you?
2. You're so ugly and boring.
3. You are beyond being loved, by God, by your family, or by anyone.
4. You really have no redeeming qualities.
5. If people knew the real you, they'd hate you.
This lie is something I struggled with even after husband proposed to me. I've always had such a fear that if anyone got to know the "real me", there is no way they could love me. I questioned him all the time to make sure he didn't feel I was somehow "tricking" him into marry me. I've felt this way with most relationships in my life. I think it's why I work overtime to be "likable" to everyone. Time and time again husband, therapist, and a few friends have proven to me that they still love me even in my most 'unlovable' moments.
If humans are capable of such unconditional love, how much more does our heavenly Father love us no matter what???
Your true identity: LOVABLE
Romans 8:38,39 - For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, will be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
These two verses list 10 things that CANNOT separate us from the love God has for us. Reading over this list it reminds me of the no loop holes safety contracts I used to have to make when I was greatly struggling with self-injury. Except in this case, it's a no loop holes God loves us unconditionally and forever.
John 15:13 - Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends.
Romans 5:8 - But God shows His great love for us in this way: Christ died for us while we were still sinners.
There are a few people on this planet that I love deeply enough I would gladly lay down my life for them and a few others that I would lay my life down for (maybe just not as gladly ;) ). I honestly don't know that I would lay my life down for a stranger, someone who treated me horribly, or someone who wasn't even born yet. But this is exactly what Jesus did. He loved each of us so much, he chose to die for our sins despite us not existing yet, despite the sins we as humans will naturally commit, and whether or not we choose to accept him. He loves us so much that he died for us whether we choose to love him back or not.
Zephaniah 3:17 - For the Lord your God has arrived to live among you. He is a mighty Savior. He will give you victory. He will rejoice over you with great gladness; He will love you and not accuse you. Is that a joyous choir I hear? No, it is the Lord Himself exulting over you in happy song.
Again, numerous things in this verse that the Lord does out of love for us: live among us, give us victory, rejoice over us, love us, not accuse us, exult over us.
I know I will never fully grasp it, but understanding God's unconditional love and how great it is, gives me the warm feeling inside that sometimes I try so hard to get from other people. I think letting God's love fill me more will feel a need I look for in others in ways that others could never provide.
This is not to say the love of others is not incredibly important and vital to happy living, but God's love is unfailing. Even the person on this planet who loves you the most will fail you from time to time. Seeking a higher love to be my main love, helps me to keep this world into perspective and pay attention to what really matters.
bottom line: YOU ARE LOVED UNCONDITIONALLY AS YOU ARE FOREVER!!!!
Sunday, July 25, 2010
Lie # 6 - Powerless
Lies of the enemy:
1. You are weak.
2. You are damaged goods.
3. You can't do anything right.
4. How helpless can one person be?
5. Someone's always got to take care of and/or clean up the messes you make.
Ouch.... but how many of these can you relate to. I feel like I'm making good progress in my healing. I feel like I have a long way to go, but I feel like I'm also a long way from where I started. Yet, going through this Bible Study, I am seeing so many lies that I still believe. Despite improved self-esteem and self-confidence, it's surprising how many of the lies we've talked about so far that I still find myself believing to be true. It just goes to show how sneaky satan is to still slip things like this into our thinking even when you know you're on the right track. Praise God for Bible studies like these and good friends who help continue to point things out to you so you can let go of the lies and continue to embrace the you that you really are.
Your true identity: POWERFUL
2 Timothy 1:7 - For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.
Debilitating fear that leaves us powerless is not from God. While in my personal opinion, I do not believe that fear is a sin nor does God get angry at us for it, fear that keeps us from acting is not of Him. Courage and power does not mean fear is not allowed (although if my faith in God was always strong enough, I probably wouldn't have fear), but it means we fight on and push through our fears because we know our Creator is stronger than whatever we face here on the planet. God gives us his power and that power is strong enough to overcome anything!
1 John 4:4 - You are from God, little children, and have overcome them; because greater is He who is in you that he who is in the world.
"He who is in the world" in this context refers to satan and his allies. Isn't reassuring to hear straight from the Bible that God in us is greater than anything else we may encounter and he has already overcome!?!?!??!
1 John 5:4-5 - For everyone born of God overcomes the world. This is the victory that has overcome the world, even our faith. Who is it that overcomes the world? Only he who believes that Jesus is the son of God.
Believing and trusting in something that you can't blatantly see requires a lot of faith. The best way I know to tell people who struggle b/c they say they can't see God is to try to show her/him how he's in everything - just not in the ways we're used to. He's in a warm hug from a friend, a daisy in a sidewalk, he's in the wind, the fire at a cookout... and on and on... God created everything and is in everything. With this thought, it amazes me that to overcome the world, all I have to do is believe that Jesus is the son of God and try to live my life for him.
Trauma - past or current makes you feel powerless.... powerless to stop what's happening to you, what you're being forced to do, and powerless to control all of the feelings and emotions that accompany the trauma. But this "weakness" is only temporary in Christ Jesus. He can strengthen you here on this planet and there will be no weakness in you in Heaven. When Jesus was taken into custody, flogged, tortured and crucified, you can bet he was weak physically, mentally, and emotionally. But it was only temporary. God rescued him like he will rescue us. Also, those experiences mean Jesus knows exactly what it's like to be backed up against a wall and holding on for dear life. He truly can understand your pain and suffering. All God asked of Jesus during that time was to hold on. His power would be restored to him at the proper time. You may be feeling week now, and maybe all God is asking of you is to hold on. He will always come through. He NEVER fails.
Truth # 6 You are POWERFUL!!
1. You are weak.
2. You are damaged goods.
3. You can't do anything right.
4. How helpless can one person be?
5. Someone's always got to take care of and/or clean up the messes you make.
Ouch.... but how many of these can you relate to. I feel like I'm making good progress in my healing. I feel like I have a long way to go, but I feel like I'm also a long way from where I started. Yet, going through this Bible Study, I am seeing so many lies that I still believe. Despite improved self-esteem and self-confidence, it's surprising how many of the lies we've talked about so far that I still find myself believing to be true. It just goes to show how sneaky satan is to still slip things like this into our thinking even when you know you're on the right track. Praise God for Bible studies like these and good friends who help continue to point things out to you so you can let go of the lies and continue to embrace the you that you really are.
Your true identity: POWERFUL
2 Timothy 1:7 - For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.
Debilitating fear that leaves us powerless is not from God. While in my personal opinion, I do not believe that fear is a sin nor does God get angry at us for it, fear that keeps us from acting is not of Him. Courage and power does not mean fear is not allowed (although if my faith in God was always strong enough, I probably wouldn't have fear), but it means we fight on and push through our fears because we know our Creator is stronger than whatever we face here on the planet. God gives us his power and that power is strong enough to overcome anything!
1 John 4:4 - You are from God, little children, and have overcome them; because greater is He who is in you that he who is in the world.
"He who is in the world" in this context refers to satan and his allies. Isn't reassuring to hear straight from the Bible that God in us is greater than anything else we may encounter and he has already overcome!?!?!??!
1 John 5:4-5 - For everyone born of God overcomes the world. This is the victory that has overcome the world, even our faith. Who is it that overcomes the world? Only he who believes that Jesus is the son of God.
Believing and trusting in something that you can't blatantly see requires a lot of faith. The best way I know to tell people who struggle b/c they say they can't see God is to try to show her/him how he's in everything - just not in the ways we're used to. He's in a warm hug from a friend, a daisy in a sidewalk, he's in the wind, the fire at a cookout... and on and on... God created everything and is in everything. With this thought, it amazes me that to overcome the world, all I have to do is believe that Jesus is the son of God and try to live my life for him.
Trauma - past or current makes you feel powerless.... powerless to stop what's happening to you, what you're being forced to do, and powerless to control all of the feelings and emotions that accompany the trauma. But this "weakness" is only temporary in Christ Jesus. He can strengthen you here on this planet and there will be no weakness in you in Heaven. When Jesus was taken into custody, flogged, tortured and crucified, you can bet he was weak physically, mentally, and emotionally. But it was only temporary. God rescued him like he will rescue us. Also, those experiences mean Jesus knows exactly what it's like to be backed up against a wall and holding on for dear life. He truly can understand your pain and suffering. All God asked of Jesus during that time was to hold on. His power would be restored to him at the proper time. You may be feeling week now, and maybe all God is asking of you is to hold on. He will always come through. He NEVER fails.
Truth # 6 You are POWERFUL!!
Friday, July 23, 2010
Lie # 5 - Rejected
Lies of the enemy:
1. You're a failure.
2. You're such a loser.
3. No one wants you.
4. You're not qualified.
5. Everyone else is better than you.
Your true identity: ACCEPTED
Ephesians 1:6 - To the praise of the glory of His grace, by which He made us accepted in the Beloved.
Beloved in this instance refers to Christ. God's grace makes us accepted in Christ, and who greater is there to accept us?
1 Peter 2: 4-5 - As you come to Him, the living Stone - rejected by men but chosen by God and precious to Him - you also, like living stones, are being built into a spiritual house to be a holy priesthood, offering spiritual sacrifices acceptable to God through Jesus Christ.
Jesus, the son of the living God, was rejected by mankind, but he was always seen as chosen and precious and accepted by the Father. In the same way, God has chosen all of us. Whether the people in your life accept and love you or whether like Christ, you have been rejected and outcast, your acceptance with the Holy Father is still the same and is unconditional. In addition, God recognizes the hardships you are going through while remaining faithful to them. He counts these as spiritual sacrifices and sees these as acceptable as well. Your struggles are acceptable to Christ.
Hebrews 4:16 - Let us therefore come boldly before the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need.
I don't know about you, but I rarely approach anything boldly. I'm getting better, but typically, I prefer to timidly approach things and test the water before getting too close. Hebrews states that we are to come boldly before the Lord and obtain..... What I gather from this is that we are so completely and fully accepted by God we can come to him like a child does to a loving parent and boldly as for and get the things that we need without fear.
You are never rejected by the Father. You are ACCEPTED by the only one whose acceptance really matters.
1. You're a failure.
2. You're such a loser.
3. No one wants you.
4. You're not qualified.
5. Everyone else is better than you.
Your true identity: ACCEPTED
Ephesians 1:6 - To the praise of the glory of His grace, by which He made us accepted in the Beloved.
Beloved in this instance refers to Christ. God's grace makes us accepted in Christ, and who greater is there to accept us?
1 Peter 2: 4-5 - As you come to Him, the living Stone - rejected by men but chosen by God and precious to Him - you also, like living stones, are being built into a spiritual house to be a holy priesthood, offering spiritual sacrifices acceptable to God through Jesus Christ.
Jesus, the son of the living God, was rejected by mankind, but he was always seen as chosen and precious and accepted by the Father. In the same way, God has chosen all of us. Whether the people in your life accept and love you or whether like Christ, you have been rejected and outcast, your acceptance with the Holy Father is still the same and is unconditional. In addition, God recognizes the hardships you are going through while remaining faithful to them. He counts these as spiritual sacrifices and sees these as acceptable as well. Your struggles are acceptable to Christ.
Hebrews 4:16 - Let us therefore come boldly before the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need.
I don't know about you, but I rarely approach anything boldly. I'm getting better, but typically, I prefer to timidly approach things and test the water before getting too close. Hebrews states that we are to come boldly before the Lord and obtain..... What I gather from this is that we are so completely and fully accepted by God we can come to him like a child does to a loving parent and boldly as for and get the things that we need without fear.
You are never rejected by the Father. You are ACCEPTED by the only one whose acceptance really matters.
Thursday, July 22, 2010
Lie # 4 - Devalued
Lies of the enemy:
1. No one needs you.
2. You're not good enough.
3. You don't have anything useful to say.
4. You are absolutely worthless.
5. You really suck!
How many of these can you relate to or how many more of your own can you add to the list? Praise God this list too is a lie.
The truth is that we are VALUED by God and his thoughts and feelings about us are greater than any other's in the entire universe.
Jeremiah 31:3 - The Lord appeared to us in the past, saying: "I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with loving-kindness."
God not only loves us forever (past and future) but also is working to draw us near to him because he values us so much.
1 Corinthians 6:19-20 - Don't you realize that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you and was given to you by God? You do not belong to yourself, for God bought you with a high price. So you must honor your body.
When Israel was strong and before Christ came, the Temple in Jerusalem was the one place on earth where God was manifested and represented. (Side note - it took Solomon 20+ years to build God's Temple in Jerusalem) It was the most magnificent and expensive building on the planet at the time for that reason. Since Christ's resurrection, God has chosen us to be his Temple and has chosen to manifest himself in each one of us. In addition, he wanted to use us as his earthly dwelling place so badly, he sent his own son to die for our sins so we could be pure enough for God to dwell in us. With this frame of reference, it makes it difficult to see myself as invaluable if I am the vessel in which God chooses to dwell on this planet, and the same is true for you!
Romans 8:29-30 - For God knew His people in advance, and He chose them to become like His Son, so that His Son would be the firstborn among many brothers and sisters. And having chosen them, He called them to come to Him. And having called them, He gave them right standing with Himself. And having given them right standing, He gave them his glory.
So, God CHOSE us well before we were born to become like Christ and to be his sisters and brothers and be given God's right standing and GLORY!!!! When you think of any earthly glory you may receive - an honor from the President of your Country, the Nobel Peace Prize, a military award...... anything that is awe inspiring.... NONE of this even begin to compare to the glory of God which he is freely giving to you because you are his valued child.
Bottom line: YOU HAVE GREAT VALUE!!!!!
1. No one needs you.
2. You're not good enough.
3. You don't have anything useful to say.
4. You are absolutely worthless.
5. You really suck!
How many of these can you relate to or how many more of your own can you add to the list? Praise God this list too is a lie.
The truth is that we are VALUED by God and his thoughts and feelings about us are greater than any other's in the entire universe.
Jeremiah 31:3 - The Lord appeared to us in the past, saying: "I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with loving-kindness."
God not only loves us forever (past and future) but also is working to draw us near to him because he values us so much.
1 Corinthians 6:19-20 - Don't you realize that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you and was given to you by God? You do not belong to yourself, for God bought you with a high price. So you must honor your body.
When Israel was strong and before Christ came, the Temple in Jerusalem was the one place on earth where God was manifested and represented. (Side note - it took Solomon 20+ years to build God's Temple in Jerusalem) It was the most magnificent and expensive building on the planet at the time for that reason. Since Christ's resurrection, God has chosen us to be his Temple and has chosen to manifest himself in each one of us. In addition, he wanted to use us as his earthly dwelling place so badly, he sent his own son to die for our sins so we could be pure enough for God to dwell in us. With this frame of reference, it makes it difficult to see myself as invaluable if I am the vessel in which God chooses to dwell on this planet, and the same is true for you!
Romans 8:29-30 - For God knew His people in advance, and He chose them to become like His Son, so that His Son would be the firstborn among many brothers and sisters. And having chosen them, He called them to come to Him. And having called them, He gave them right standing with Himself. And having given them right standing, He gave them his glory.
So, God CHOSE us well before we were born to become like Christ and to be his sisters and brothers and be given God's right standing and GLORY!!!! When you think of any earthly glory you may receive - an honor from the President of your Country, the Nobel Peace Prize, a military award...... anything that is awe inspiring.... NONE of this even begin to compare to the glory of God which he is freely giving to you because you are his valued child.
Bottom line: YOU HAVE GREAT VALUE!!!!!
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
Lie # 3 - Accused/Guilty
Lies of the enemy (satan):
1. You really blew it.
2. You're unforgivable.
3. You can't do anything right.
4. You need to be punished.
5. You can't be trusted.
6. Everyone knows what a hypocrite you are.
So how many of these can you relate to. I think this is one of the hardest lies for me to overcome. I can identify with all of these, except I might change the last one to read more like, "everyone will leave you and hate you when they find out what a hypocrite you are." B/c see, I'm really good at "pretending to be nice and kind and good". When people finally see the real me, I expect it will be like those old horror films where the lady covers her face with her hands, screams a blood curdling scream, and runs away.... and then I can say to anyone who thought they knew me "see, told you so."
I've been working hard on this one. Owning up to mistakes and sin when I should but also learning how to not own up to things or take the blame for things that I am innocent of. I think this is an important step in placing the blame of the childhood abuse where it belongs and being able to see myself as I truly am. Although, I'm also learning that if I'm not viewing myself through God's eyes, I will never be able to see myself as I truly am.
So, whether you're like me and on the road to letting go of guilt (some days I do handle this better than others) or you're in a place where guilt is overtaking you. There is hope. Whether everything that has happened to you has been your fault (which I assure you it has not) or none of it was your fault, Jesus Christ offers:
FORGIVENESS
Romans 8:1 - Therefore there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.
NO condemnation. If you have confessed the sin to God and are repentant, he will not continue to hold it against you or condemn you for it. It doesn't mean that there won't still be consequences, but you are not bound by it forever.
Romans 5:1 - Therefore, having been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ.
In this sense, Justified means "declared not guilty". Jesus's death on the cross covered all of your sins and washed them away. You are seen to God as a sinless creature because of the blood of Jesus.
Hebrews 10:17 - Their sins and lawless acts I will remember no more.
How awesome is that? When you bring your sins before the Lord and ask for forgiveness, not only does he offer immediate and loving forgiveness, he wipes the sin from his memory. So, 2 days, 2 weeks, 2 years, 200 years down the road when you say, "Hey God, remember that time I _____________________ . I'm still feeling really guilty about it." He will say, "I don't know what you're talking about." Because he forgave you, let it go, and is just loving being in a relationship with you.
You are not guilty, hated, disgusting, awful, or any other word you want to use to fill in the blank.
You are loved and FORGIVEN!
1. You really blew it.
2. You're unforgivable.
3. You can't do anything right.
4. You need to be punished.
5. You can't be trusted.
6. Everyone knows what a hypocrite you are.
So how many of these can you relate to. I think this is one of the hardest lies for me to overcome. I can identify with all of these, except I might change the last one to read more like, "everyone will leave you and hate you when they find out what a hypocrite you are." B/c see, I'm really good at "pretending to be nice and kind and good". When people finally see the real me, I expect it will be like those old horror films where the lady covers her face with her hands, screams a blood curdling scream, and runs away.... and then I can say to anyone who thought they knew me "see, told you so."
I've been working hard on this one. Owning up to mistakes and sin when I should but also learning how to not own up to things or take the blame for things that I am innocent of. I think this is an important step in placing the blame of the childhood abuse where it belongs and being able to see myself as I truly am. Although, I'm also learning that if I'm not viewing myself through God's eyes, I will never be able to see myself as I truly am.
So, whether you're like me and on the road to letting go of guilt (some days I do handle this better than others) or you're in a place where guilt is overtaking you. There is hope. Whether everything that has happened to you has been your fault (which I assure you it has not) or none of it was your fault, Jesus Christ offers:
FORGIVENESS
Romans 8:1 - Therefore there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.
NO condemnation. If you have confessed the sin to God and are repentant, he will not continue to hold it against you or condemn you for it. It doesn't mean that there won't still be consequences, but you are not bound by it forever.
Romans 5:1 - Therefore, having been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ.
In this sense, Justified means "declared not guilty". Jesus's death on the cross covered all of your sins and washed them away. You are seen to God as a sinless creature because of the blood of Jesus.
Hebrews 10:17 - Their sins and lawless acts I will remember no more.
How awesome is that? When you bring your sins before the Lord and ask for forgiveness, not only does he offer immediate and loving forgiveness, he wipes the sin from his memory. So, 2 days, 2 weeks, 2 years, 200 years down the road when you say, "Hey God, remember that time I _____________________ . I'm still feeling really guilty about it." He will say, "I don't know what you're talking about." Because he forgave you, let it go, and is just loving being in a relationship with you.
You are not guilty, hated, disgusting, awful, or any other word you want to use to fill in the blank.
You are loved and FORGIVEN!
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
Lie # 2 - Unimportant
Lies of the enemy (aka satan):
1. Your input is unnecessary.
2. You're just taking up oxygen on this planet.
3. Go sit on the sidelines.
4. Don't call us. We'll call you.
5. What have you really accomplished with your life?
6. You don't really have anything good to offer anyone.
Like yesterday, I'm sure you and I can come up with many more that are not on the above list that feed into our belief that we are unimportant. Praise God that this too is a lie.
The truth says we are IMPORTANT!!
John 1:12 - But as many as received Him, to them He gave the right to become children of God, even to those who believe in His name.
God gave you the right to be his child. He gave no other creature, plant, or any living being on this planet this gift. How special does it make you that you have the right to be his child?
Matthew 5:13 - You are the salt of the earth.
Matthew 5:14 - You are the light of the world. A city on a hill that cannot be hidden.
You are the vessel God chose through which to show His flavors and colors to the world. What a responsibility and an honor! God is so thoughtful in everything that he did not make this choice lightly.
John 3:16 - For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life.
You are so important that God sent his Son to die for you even before you knew who he was.... thousands of years before you were born. He died for people who hated him. And while he did die for the whole world, he still would have given his life if you were the only one. That's how important you are to him.
God may be using the current struggles in your life as a way to refine you. While he did not cause your pain, He will definitely use your struggle to healing as a way to make you stronger, and place you an a unique position to help others who may be on the same path as you. Throughout the Bible, the men and women who were significantly used by God were wounded in some severe way. You may still be in the midst of your fire and dealing with open wounds. There are evil forces doing their best to propel our world into chaos and one of the most effective and easiest ways for them to do so is to convince you that you don't matter. But this is a lie.
The truth: YOU ARE INCREDIBLY IMPORTANT!
1. Your input is unnecessary.
2. You're just taking up oxygen on this planet.
3. Go sit on the sidelines.
4. Don't call us. We'll call you.
5. What have you really accomplished with your life?
6. You don't really have anything good to offer anyone.
Like yesterday, I'm sure you and I can come up with many more that are not on the above list that feed into our belief that we are unimportant. Praise God that this too is a lie.
The truth says we are IMPORTANT!!
John 1:12 - But as many as received Him, to them He gave the right to become children of God, even to those who believe in His name.
God gave you the right to be his child. He gave no other creature, plant, or any living being on this planet this gift. How special does it make you that you have the right to be his child?
Matthew 5:13 - You are the salt of the earth.
Matthew 5:14 - You are the light of the world. A city on a hill that cannot be hidden.
You are the vessel God chose through which to show His flavors and colors to the world. What a responsibility and an honor! God is so thoughtful in everything that he did not make this choice lightly.
John 3:16 - For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life.
You are so important that God sent his Son to die for you even before you knew who he was.... thousands of years before you were born. He died for people who hated him. And while he did die for the whole world, he still would have given his life if you were the only one. That's how important you are to him.
God may be using the current struggles in your life as a way to refine you. While he did not cause your pain, He will definitely use your struggle to healing as a way to make you stronger, and place you an a unique position to help others who may be on the same path as you. Throughout the Bible, the men and women who were significantly used by God were wounded in some severe way. You may still be in the midst of your fire and dealing with open wounds. There are evil forces doing their best to propel our world into chaos and one of the most effective and easiest ways for them to do so is to convince you that you don't matter. But this is a lie.
The truth: YOU ARE INCREDIBLY IMPORTANT!
Monday, July 19, 2010
Eight lies trauma survivors typically believe
I'm doing a Bible Study right now geared towards trauma survivors. It's not really geared towards survivors of childhood sexual abuse, but just trauma in general. This week's study is on eight lies that satan feeds everyone who's suffered a traumatic event and/or has a traumatic disorder. I found each of these to be so true in my case, I thought I'd take the next 8 days and post one a day. My Bible study also gives scriptures that refute satan's lies, so I'll share those as well. The more and more I grow and learn and study, I am learning that satan gets me most when I keep quiet about things and do not bring them to light.... especially if I think they are bad things about me. These are the times he can plant deep seeds that can grow and fester and keep us from realizing our true identity, potential, strength, and beauty.
Lie #1 - Disregarded
Lies of the enemy:
1. You are a nobody.
2. No one cares about you. Why should they?
3. No one wants to know you.
4. You don't deserve the respect that others get.
5. You are such a fraud.
6. Who do you think you are, anyway?
I can't speak for any of you, but I know I've told myself each of these at one point in my life and most multiple times plus others that aren't even on this list. PRAISE GOD that these are all lies though! They are small and easy ways for satan to manipulate us and living in a fallen world, he uses other people, coincidental circumstances, our own negative self-talk and anything else he can possibly use to increase our belief that any or all of these lies are actually truth.
God says something very different about us in His word though. God says we are
REGARDED.
John 15:15 - I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master's business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from My Father I have made known to you.
Jesus Christ, the Son of God, calls you his friend.
Hebrews 2:11 - So now Jesus and the ones He makes holy have the same Father. That is why Jesus is not ashamed to call them His brothers and sisters.
Jesus Christ is not ashamed to call you his brother or sister.
Ephesians 1:4 - Even before He made the world, God loved us and chose us in Christ to be holy and without fault in his eyes.
You were known, loved, and chosen by God before the world was created!
Galatians 4:7 - Now you are no longer a slave but God's own child. And since you are His child, God has made you His heir.
You are God's child and also His heir.
YOU ARE LOVED AND HIGHLY REGARDED!!!!!
Check back tomorrow. I'll post Lie #2 and the truths to refute it.
Lie #1 - Disregarded
Lies of the enemy:
1. You are a nobody.
2. No one cares about you. Why should they?
3. No one wants to know you.
4. You don't deserve the respect that others get.
5. You are such a fraud.
6. Who do you think you are, anyway?
I can't speak for any of you, but I know I've told myself each of these at one point in my life and most multiple times plus others that aren't even on this list. PRAISE GOD that these are all lies though! They are small and easy ways for satan to manipulate us and living in a fallen world, he uses other people, coincidental circumstances, our own negative self-talk and anything else he can possibly use to increase our belief that any or all of these lies are actually truth.
God says something very different about us in His word though. God says we are
REGARDED.
John 15:15 - I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master's business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from My Father I have made known to you.
Jesus Christ, the Son of God, calls you his friend.
Hebrews 2:11 - So now Jesus and the ones He makes holy have the same Father. That is why Jesus is not ashamed to call them His brothers and sisters.
Jesus Christ is not ashamed to call you his brother or sister.
Ephesians 1:4 - Even before He made the world, God loved us and chose us in Christ to be holy and without fault in his eyes.
You were known, loved, and chosen by God before the world was created!
Galatians 4:7 - Now you are no longer a slave but God's own child. And since you are His child, God has made you His heir.
You are God's child and also His heir.
YOU ARE LOVED AND HIGHLY REGARDED!!!!!
Check back tomorrow. I'll post Lie #2 and the truths to refute it.
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