Tuesday, April 21, 2009


Is there some force out there whose sole purpose is to continue to try to push every button I have until I end up back inpatient???? My latest "crisis" isn't urgent or anything that can't be worked through, but the timing really sucks, and I am pissed about it. For those of you who have read my blog from the beginning, you'll remember the February entry where I give the quick rundown of my 10 years in therapy.

Anyways, I just found out this evening (on my way to the funeral home) that Dr. M. and her husband both got jobs at the local christian university here. It's the same denomination as the one I attended for undergrad and grad school on the other side of the state where they were my professors and she was my therapist for almost 2 years. Fantastic! We've spent 5 years healing from her ditching us, and 3 years in this new city building our own life here. She's the reason it's taken us so long to trust current therapist and for so many of our fears regarding trust and our "neediness".

Instead of her being 3 hours away where we never saw her, by August at the latest, she will be working less than 10 minutes from where I live and possibly living nearby as well. I know a lot of people aren't going to understand why this is a major issue for me. It was a different type of trauma but the pain we went through after she abandoned us was real. I don't want to try to compare it to my childhood trauma or any abuse, but it was one of the hardest things we've lived through in our adult life. Maybe the hardest thing I've ever been through, considering 'I' wasn't around for the abuse.

Hopefully this will turn out to be nothing. This is just my overreaction to not happy news that is at very bad timing!

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