Today

Feeling a little more emotionally stable today. Still physically sick, but I finally went to the doctor yesterday and got an antibiotic, so hopefully I'll start feeling better soon. I can't remember the last time I took 2 1/2 days off of work because I was physically sick. Sadly, I'm usually going to work while I'm physically sick so I can save my sick days for my mental/emotional breakdowns. It is a very good feeling, but still a very strange feeling to not be planning my next inpatient trip. For the past 5 years, in the back of my head, I'm constantly planning when my next IP visit will work - with insurance, days off work, events I can't miss, etc. I used sick time this week because my body is sick, and I'm not freaking out b/c that's 2 1/2 days I have less to use towards inpatient treatment. Pretty cool. Not that I'm sick, but that I'm not freaking out.

Still feeling vulnerable towards other people, but after talking with my therpist yesterday, I'm thinking some of my vulnerability is the same "normal" people feel in relationships as well. Maybe I'm just more sensitive to being hurt or something? Hmm... having feelings that normal people have? Interesting.....

Time for more cough medicine. :P