Monday, February 16, 2009

ah Aha! moment

Lately I've been wondering why a part, Angel, who has been talking a lot in therapy and basically never surfaces except in therapy has trouble remembering what was discussed in therapy at the next session. We meet twice a week, so it's not like there's more than 3 days between a session. Knowing myself like I do, I've spent the past couple of weeks trying to use this as another way to prove that I am not DID. If all this one part was forward for was therapy and nothing else, then surely she should remember what was discussed.... Since she wasn't remembering, maybe I wasn't really switching, and my mind does get filled up with other stuff throughout the week: work, school, friends, family, external life stuff.

Today therapist reminded Angel of something she said at the end of last week's session. Angel said in response to something therapist said that she couldn't take it in. Her head was too full. There was no room for anything else..... A lightbulb went off in my mind. Of course she can't remember what's discussed in therapy b/c she's being overloaded every session.

I briefly touched in the last post about how therapist is having to learn about time structuring sessions so as to not overwhelm us each session. I believe these intense, overwhelming sessions have contributed to Angel not remembering the helpful things from sessions. Therapist and I talked about this today and we're going to take things in smaller portions and decrease the amount of time intense topics are discussed each week. Hopefully this will help things sink in better for Angel and keep me from getting overwhelmed during and after every session.

We can at least hold onto this hope until next session.... *fingers crossed*

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