Friday, August 14, 2009

Embarrassed

So, I'm embarrassed about a situation last night to the point that we don't want to tell our therapist. We don't think she'll condemn us, but we don't know she can give us the validation we're looking for. Besides that, the body is 28, things like this shouldn't happen. I've even debated writing here. I'm anonymous to most of you but not all of you, so it still feels a risk posting here. However, I am so desperate for some understanding or validation or coping skill so I can make sure it doesn't happen again.

So, I wet the bed last night. Not just a little. The kind where I woke myself up and had to run to the restroom, then strip my bed, find towels to try and dry my mattress, and then clean everything today. We haven't wet the bed since we were a child. I don't remember exactly what I was dreaming about, but it wasn't a nightmare or memory. I'm vaguely having a childhood memory in bits and pieces that may have something to do with it. It's not a full memory yet, and I don't know whose it is yet. What I find odd, is usually when my body responds physically to a trigger when I'm sleeping, I'm actively having the dream too.

All I can think about today is how thankful I am that I was not sharing my bed with anyone last night. Also, I keep thinking that I'm getting married in 9 months. How embarrassing if this happens after I get married!?!??!?!??!?! I know I need to talk to therapist about this. Maybe we'll get the courage by Monday. I just don't really want to talk about this to anyone face to face. I feel sooooooo embarrassed.

I mean, seriously, does any other 28 year old wet the bed?

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