*Warning* No Spoilers

We've been talking to insurance companies for the past few weeks. Since we're going back to school full time at the end of August, we need to switch from our employer's insurance to an individual plan. What a fucking pain!!! Everyone tells you something different. At first we were told if we stayed with the same company and switched from a group plan to an individual plan, they would wave the 12 month pre-existing condition - meaning my therapy would still be covered.

So, we called today to set up a plan and apply b/c we're about 35 days out from needing an individual plan. Today we got the truth. Not only will they not cover our mental health b/c it is considered pre-existing, but the way they're doing the plans now, Mental health isn't even covered and payable with a co-pay. I have to meet my deductible, then pay 20% of each visit until my insurance company has payed my therapist $1000. After they pay the $1000, I go back to paying 100% of the costs again. Which basically means, I have NO MENTAL HEALTH COVERAGE. What also sucks is they won't pay for my Prozac or Klonopin b/c I'm already taking them and because they're "mental/nervous" drugs. They'll cover my birth control, no problem, but NO psych meds. Can we say mental health discrimination??

I am SO PISSED OFF!!!!!! WTF?!?!?!?!?!?!?! I got messed up as a child mentally, physically, and sexually by an adult. He's not around to pay. So not only am I punished as a child, I'm being punished now! This is fucking rediculous!!!!!! We've been working so hard to get better. We've been 15 months with no IP visits and no major crises. We're decreasing our meds and plan to be off of some by Christmas. We have a full-time job. We contribute to the commuity. We're good citizens. Yet, I can barely get the treatment I need b/c some stupid idiots decide mental health doesn't matter as much as physical health and so they're just not going to cover it.

Someone should have to pay for all of this and it shouldn't have to be me again!!!! I hate him!! I hate insurance!! I hate needing help!! I hate that I'm having feelings other parts are telling me are wrong and bad. Thoughts that I can never act on and really shouldn't even be having at all. Fuck it! Fuck it all! Fuck the whole world!!

This completely sucks! The therapist says we'll work things out. I'm sure she will, but we shouldn't have to!!! We shouldn't have to work anything out. We shouldn't need therapy. We shouldn't need to be a "we". We shouldn't be paying twice for something that some old pervert thought would be fun. We shouldn't be praying some idiotic insurance company will have grace on us and provide us with coverage.

Fuck it! We're screwed.
- Kate