Today is hubby's birthday. His work schedule is such right now that it's hard to catch him online. He's asleep when I'm free, and I'm asleep when he's free. I did get to talk to him for a few minutes, and it sounds like he had as good of a birthday as one can while deployed in a war zone.
I on the other hand hated not having him around today. I couldn't give him his gift on his birthday (the USPS has it somewhere in the Middle East, but it hasn't reached him yet); I couldn't cook him dinner and make his favorite dessert; I couldn't plan a party for him with all of his friends; and I couldn't even give him a birthday kiss.
Tomorrow will be 5 weeks since he left. I keep thinking he should be coming home soon. All of his trainings over the past year lasted an average of 3-4 weeks. I'm ready for him to be home, but instead it's still just the beginning of this trip. In another week or two we'll adjust to the idea that he's not coming home soon, and the feelings will lessen. I'm thankful for that, but today I'm sad that he's so far away on his birthday and that I can't be with him.
Wow, I'm kinda feeling pretty sorry for myself tonight, huh? Well, I do know I'm more sensitive to EVERYTHING right now with so much internal stuff stirred up. I'm going to choc it up to that and actually not beat myself up over something tonight.
Time for some mindless TV to get lost in and help turn my brain off.
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